….So, after 6 weeks, or rather, 17 working days absence, plus the Christmas Holidays thrown in, I went back to work this week….
I’m still coughing more than I should be, and this cough is, I know, not just my regular asthma cough, I’m also still in considerable pain on my left side/left lung-something I need to discuss on Monday with the Dr, and something I have tried not to let up about-and did I mention how very, very very hard it is to try and get through the day with my oddly timed meds when I am at school all day!
Oh, and the Mucodyne bottle always leaks!
But hey! I’m a Teacher again now and not just a sick person!
However, my Classroom is cold at the best of times-((I’m sure glad I do not work a Tuesday-they were all sent home due to the broken boiler and lack of heat making things unbearably fridge like in school, the 1st day back!))
It wasn’t exactly warm in there for my 1st day back on Wednesday, but my dear colleague leant me her heater and I kept my long coat on!
It is however now a good feeling. But beforehand, I was nervous as hell. I’d had a lot of nerves and worries about how I was going to cope, and we know I had somehow twisted the Drs arm enough to get the necessary form to say I was ‘fit’, but Geez, it felt like a new job rather than a new term! And I’ve been teaching here for 10 years, so why did I feel like I couldn’t cope to do it?!
I think, or rather I know, that every time I go right downhill like the spell of illness I’d had in Novemer/December, I suffer a real crisis of confidence. Certainly, none so much as the one I’ve had recently, accompanied by my recent murmurs of ‘would my health be better if I wasn’t working?’
But when the Head came rushing up to me on Wednesday, practically knocking me off my scootie, to give me a huge hug and a kiss (and then telling me he had a cold, which he has subsequently been off sick with himself….), it all felt worth it, and I felt supported by the Top dog. And he even walked me in to school on Thursday-gosh, why the sudden show of love and support?
So my 1st 3 day week is done, and I’ve had the chance and taken the time to really sort my coming weeks’ of preparation and planning and rehearsal schedules out, and of course, because I am me, I’m really looking forward to all things school again.
And the reception of love and happiness on the faces of the pupils I’ve had-even the toe rags-and the colleagues who’ve genuinely missed me, and have genuinely been concerned about me, has only made things easier. Human nature means it is lovely to be loved. And returning after a long absence for a New Term, and a New Year again, has made it feel like a real fresh start.
It IS hard. It has been a VERY hard few days. I have only just realised how VERY sick I was. And I know I SHOULD have given in and been in hospital. And subsequently, emotionally, I’ve wobbled A LOT and have bought shares in kleenex.
I’ve also coughed too much, wheezed endlessly, had countless trips to the hideous school bathroom facilities, as my stomach has been upside down with nerves, and clearly needs retraining time wise! plus I’ve had sleepness nights with my over active mind whirring around to ridiculous proportions, and OK, I admit, I’ve been a bit of a plonker about not wearing my Oxygen this week. You calling me self-conscious? Something that several people have commented on. But I haven’t yet had a CO2 headache. Big Phew. That will be my turning point, and E.T. will be straight back in use when I get one of those at school.
But I’ve survived, and I live to teach another week-most importantly! And I’ve even been granted a day off (with pay) for my upcoming hospital check up!
….And Scootie has been charged afresh so he is totally bionic now. And I’m surely going to be needing one of these!….